


Panic! At The Disco

by freddie (ready_freddie)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Gen, Hargreeves brother bonding, Klaus Hargreeves is a good brother tho, Post season 2 but they're back in 2019, confiding in one another, diego has trust issues, its free therapy, panic attacks in a bathroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_freddie/pseuds/freddie
Summary: Diego hadn’t gone to a bar in a while. Not since before the first apocalypse was supposed to happen, anyways, and during the second he never really got the chance. Even then, they never were really his thing, other than the times he would show up to bust a drug deal or get Klaus out of a bad situation. Then they had gotten back to 2019, and to Mom and to Pogo and everything was supposed to be fine. Supposed to be back to normal, and Diego was still...really down. During their time in the 60s it had turned out that drinking with Klaus was pretty fuckin’ rad, too, so it only made sense that he would invite his brooding brother out for a night to relax, and to get over that strange woman that of course tried to kill them.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts (mentioned), Klaus Hargreeves/Original Male Character (mentioned)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 112





	Panic! At The Disco

**Author's Note:**

> Ah tysm for Venus for beta reading and for noturblondie for making this story actually make sense lol  
> Anyways hope y'all like it

Diego hadn’t gone to a bar in a while. Not since before the first apocalypse was supposed to happen, anyways, and during the second he never really got the chance. Even then, they never were really his thing, other than the times he would show up to bust a drug deal or get Klaus out of a bad situation. Then they had gotten back to 2019, and to Mom and to Pogo and everything was supposed to be fine. Supposed to be back to normal, and Diego was still...really down. During their time in the 60s it had turned out that drinking with Klaus was pretty fuckin’ rad, too, so it only made sense that he would invite his brooding brother out for a night to relax, and to get over that strange woman that of course tried to kill them. 

Diego didn’t see it the same way. He wasn’t heartbroken, not really. It was different and he couldn’t really pinpoint why he was feeling the way he was, but after days of Klaus bargaining and begging, he agreed to go to some club that he promised wasn’t too over the top. He only agreed to it on the condition that Klaus would stay with him the whole night, and he could bring a knife, at least. 

The music was too loud, playing some Prince song or something like that, and it was simultaneously too dark and too bright, Diego’s eyes not being able to adjust to the bright flashes of light that came from the dance area in the middle of the room. He was glad he talked Klaus down from whatever kind of place he usually would go to, cause if this wasn’t over the top, he was scared to see what would be. 

“C’mon, Di!” Klaus said, pulling Diego further into the room by his sleeve, “dance with me, man.  _ Relax.  _ Letting loose a little won’t kill you,” He insisted, already moving to the music like seaweed in the waves.

Diego didn’t understand how he could just relax like that in front of so many people. No one was looking at them, sure, but they  _ could be,  _ and that was a terrifying thought. So he did the bare minimum, swaying slightly to the music. Small movements of his hips where his whole body followed with the movements, shoulders turning to let his arms flow slightly at his sides in the only way he really knew how. His eyes flickered left and right, looking around to make sure nothing bad was going to happen by watching the people that were near by them and around the only exit he could see. The idea that someone was going to sneak up on them or catch him off guard was one that just made Diego more tense, the exact opposite of what Klaus had planned for the night. 

After several minutes of trying to coax him to let loose a little more on the dance floor, he realized that Diego was not going to bend that easily, and Klaus decided to try a new tactic. “You need some alcohol in you, I think,” He said, a surprisingly firm hand guiding Diego over to the little bar. “I’ll uh, have a bourbon cherry sour and,” He turned to his brother, nodding a little at him, “what do you want?”

“I’ll just have a whiskey?” Diego said, somehow even less confident than how he had been moments ago, intimidated by Klaus’ ordering of something he had never heard of. 

“Alright…Just that, dear bartender!” 

Moments later, the drinks were brought to them, Klaus’ a bright colour with a little umbrella and some dark cherries, and Diego’s...well, it’s whiskey, he didn’t expect much. It wasn’t like he drank much in general. If anything, he was kind of a lightweight, though he would never admit that to anyone. He just usually would drink alone, and it wouldn’t be more than a glass or two before he was hammered, and then he would pass out, and that was that. Klaus could drink a lot more than that and he knew it, and he wasn’t about to get black out drunk in front of him, so he just decided to take small sips. Klaus beside him was surprisingly calming, though people would come and go, waving at him and he would wink and wave back with a grin. Diego knew that if the night wasn’t about him getting out of his shell, Klaus would probably be long gone, in some alley with one (or more) of them. It was a little uncomfortable, but it did relieve him a little to know that Klaus had decided to stick by his side, though he was on his second drink before Diego had even gotten close to half finishing his first one. 

Diego was slowly going through his drink, trying not to focus on the lights or the music too much, but Klaus had gotten to his third (and seemed to be doing just fine), when he suddenly got up. “I need to use the bathroom,” He said, “watch our drinks, would you?” And then he was gone, going off in the direction of where he assumed the bathrooms where, though he doubted it. Diego didn’t even have a moment to protest, Klaus being deceptively fast, even if he looked too skinny to be in any sort of shape. 

Just like that, everything was too loud again, too much again, and Diego held his glass with both hands, trying to focus on the burning of the alcohol as he drank it, and on Klaus’ drink beside it to make sure neither would get spiked thanks to his negligence. He definitely wasn’t clinging onto the glass because he was sure his hands would be shaking if he didn’t. 

Diego didn’t understand why he was having such a problem, he never used to have issues being in rooms full of strangers, and yet...He decided that as long as no one got too close to him, he would be fine. 

“Hiya there, handsome,” A quiet voice whispered beside him, almost making Diego jump. Not only was he so lost in his head that his usual sharp senses didn't notice her walking up to him but also he was just so unusually on edge tonight that someone that wasn´t Klaus being near him was… scary to say the least. A woman with blonde hair and bright makeup and a tight dress was standing beside him. She pointed at the seat that Klaus was in only moments ago. “This seat taken?”

He turned, trying to see if Klaus was coming back, only to find him dancing with some guy across the room, not even looking in Diego’s direction. All he could hope for is for him to get back soon and remember about his dear fucking brother. “I-I guess not,” He managed to force out, swallowing a breath that was stuck in his throat.

“A martini, please,” She said immediately, waving the bartender over, before turning back to Diego. “I haven’t seen you around here before,” She smiled, a charming smile really, leaning against the counter in a clear way to get Diego to look more at her chest, and maybe if he was someone else, it would’ve worked, but he was mostly focused on how close they were, and how he wanted to make that distance grow a little. She had gotten her drink in her hand before he got to speak.

“I’ve never been here before, really,”

“I can tell. I would’ve remembered a face like yours if you had,” She said, voice still weirdly soft and sultry.

Diego forced out a laugh, looking down. “Yeah, I guess,” 

“My name’s Fiona,” She scooted her stool closer to his, and her hand fell on his arm as she flashed him a small smile, “What’s yours?”

And that was the moment that the pit that had been metaphorically sitting in the bottom of Diego’s stomach burst, and panic filled his senses, telling him to leave. “I ha-have to go,” He said, standing up abruptly, bolting in the direction of the bathroom. Hot tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, and suddenly Diego couldn’t breathe, his vision turning fuzzy around the edges. 

The tears didn’t drop until he had locked himself in the nearest bathroom, which he maybe would feel guilty about, as there were only a handful, but in that moment he needed distance. He fell to the cold floor, desperately trying to get more air into his lungs, his breaths sharp and fast, which only led to the dizziness getting worse, and suddenly he wanted to puke, remembering Lila, remembering how she kissed him, how she  _ touched  _ him, how he wanted it, he thinks. He remembered the first few nights he was in that  _ fucking asylum _ , right after they finally let him out of solitary, and how she touched him like that during group, right before making some joke about him, and-

There was a knock at the door. “Hello? Diego?” It was Klaus, ”Are you alright? Can you let me in?”

“Ye-ye-yeah. Sure,” He had to force himself to take a bit of a deeper breath to speak, and the feeling stopped getting worse long enough for him to move enough to unlock the door. 

Klaus had a worried look in his eyes, and crouched down to Diego’s level as soon as he locked the door once again. Diego was still hyperventilating, tears forcing their way out of his eyes as he desperately held them back, determined not to make an absolute fool of himself, to not look like a baby in front of strangers and his brother. 

“Hey,” Klaus said, voice soft and quiet for the first time all night, but firm, “It’s alright. We’re fine here,” He sat down across from him, offering his hands out, and retracting them without complaint when Diego didn’t take them. “Deep breaths, okay? You’ll make yourself pass out before you do any good if you keep going like that,”

Diego would never have described Klaus’ voice as calming before right then, but it sure was making him feel a  _ fraction _ of a bit better by just hearing him talk. He nodded, and while his heart still pounded like it was about to burst out of his chest, and he felt like throwing up, and his hands were still shaking; he tried to take long breaths, forcing himself to hold it for as long as possible until Klaus seemed satisfied with his breathing. 

“Wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, voice steady and grounding enough for Diego to focus on his gaze, and not on the too bright lights above him and the cold floor beneath him. Despite the answer that the question prodded for, he could tell by the look on Klaus' face that he wasn't making him talk if he didn't want to. He was just showing that he was there to listen if he was wanted, and were he in a better state he probably would´ve appreciated it more.

“Some wo-woman. Not her fault, not really,” Diego was desperately trying to keep his words steady, to say what he needed to and not think deeper than that, trying not to spiral for the second time in an hour. “Got real c-close, y’know?” 

“Oh…”

“She t-t-touched me-”

Klaus made a face, eyes going wide with shock, and Diego quickly shook his head as he tried to explain. “No, not like th-that. Just....” He felt another wave of tears bubble up inside of him, and before he knew it, he was pulling his knees up to his chest, and pressing his face into them. His arms wound tightly around his body as he curled up into himself; and he had never wished more than in that moment to be somewhere else,  _ anywhere _ else. “Made m-me think about...things I don’t wa-wa- _ wanna _ think about,” he said, voice muffled by the fabric of his pants. He didn’t wanna cry, not more than what he was doing before, holding onto the last strings of his dignity with all his might. 

Klaus was still there, though Diego didn’t know what he was doing in the moment of silence between them, though he assumed he would be getting up, ready to drag Diego back into the club, or into a taxi to take him home.

“Is this about that woman? The one like us that could copy our powers?” He finally asked, breaking the silence with a voice full of hesitance, keeping his voice low and soft for his brother. 

Diego made a sound that was somewhere between a  _ yes  _ and an  _ uh-huh _ , in the back of his throat, hoping that it was obvious that he was telling Klaus that yes, it was about her. 

Another moment of silence fell between them. “You don’t gotta talk, if it’s hard,” Klaus started off with, , ”but, do you remember that guy I was dating a while ago? Years ago, now,” he laughed softly, “The drug dealer? You busted him, I think,”

Diego looked up at him, biting his lip as he thought, before nodding, just barely. 

“I know you all think he was a jerk, but he…” Klaus’ voice had started to wobble, “Well, he was pretty awful, I have to admit. I mean, sure, some of the guys I was with would like, occasionally hit me and stuff. But that was fine, y’know?”

Diego frowned, resting a shaky hand on Klaus’ knee, providing both of them with the much needed physical support they craved in that moment. “That's n-n-never fine, Klaus. No one de-deserves that,”

Klaus shook his head, though his eyes had begun to grow foggy with tears. “I didn’t mind. They’d make up for it. Make me feel real loved and I’d be fine after. I’d never apologized for being hit before him, to put it lightly,” He laughed again, though it was devoid of any real humor. “He wouldn’t speak to me if I didn’t. Remind me that I could be replaced by anyone else. I don’t think I ever really was a person to him, thinking about it,” He sighed, tears starting to stream silently down his face.

Diego’s hand was unsteady, but he still did his best to wipe the tears away. “I’m s-s-sorry,”

Klaus took a shuddering breath, shaking his head. “No, it’s fine. It was a long time ago  _ and _ you got me out of that. I think I cried myself out, mostly, back then,” He looked up at Diego again, words unspoken but clear.  _ But you can trust me. Here is something no one else knows.  _ A promise from back when they were children, where Diego would tell Klaus about a rule he broke so Klaus would tell him what he had taken that day, a sort of insurance, or maybe just building of trust.  _ I won’t tell if you won’t. I´ll share if you do.  _

Diego closed his eyes, his hand moving away from his brother's leg, though it was quickly picked up by Klaus who squeezed it reassuringly. The heat radiating from his body pressed next to his and the warmth his hand provided felt much better than the freezing ground below them. Taking another deep breath he decided to start, not meeting Klaus’ eyes when he opened them again and instead keeping his gaze straight ahead at his other hand resting in his lap. “She was there, as s-s-soon as they let me out of the al-l-lone room. In group and lunch and free time. Making fun of me b-but she seemed to  _ c-care _ , y’know?” The tears were back as he forced himself to think about the past few months of his life again, he could feel them welling up in the corners of his eyes and he hated it. Hated how  _ small _ and  _ weak _ and  _ vulnerable _ it made him look. “She helped me b-break out, for fucks sake!” The first sob wracked his body (shoulders shaking with the force of the movement), making him curl up in on himself more than he was before, making it almost painful, but he didn’t mind. He could focus on that. “...I feel so stu-stupid for trusting her and letting her get c-close.” He ignored the flashes of their night spent together showing up behind his eyes everytime he blinked, focusing instead on the tight grip he had on himself and Klaus´ hand. “She di-didn’t say she loved me, or anything, but I th-thought she did...and then,” He choked back another sob, this time comforted by Klaus’ other hand, which had started rubbing his back reassuringly, “then we were f-fighting. At the consul-late, or whatever, and it was-it was just  _ me _ and two of th-them, two of the Swedes. I thought th-that was the end, Klaus,”

Klaus stayed silent, nodding and looking at Diego with wide worried eyes, but clearly just encouraging him to go on, to continue, still holding on tightly to his hand, but wiping his eyes once more.

Diego shook his head, the words almost rushed even as he tried to slow them down, filled with the desperation for someone, for  _ Klaus  _ to hear and understand. Five was there, of course, for most of it, but he didn’t need Five to make fun of him and to call him stupid. Not right then, even if he deserved it. “But she was  _ there _ and s-so was Five, but he only had one of them, and she looked me right in the e-e-eyes and went to help him...She left me to  _ die _ .” He paused, trying to take deeper breaths, trying to get everything under control again, to gain control of the situation again. He felt powerless and ridiculous and childish, but maybe it was too late to go back.

Klaus scooted closer to him, and Diego could tell there wasn’t a hint of judgement in his eyes. Just concern and worry, and maybe, just maybe, understanding. He certainly hadn’t said anything about the fact that Diego was crying, or that his stutter was worse than ever, and maybe he trusted him a little more. “She was a sp-spy, for the commission. She didn’t mean anything she said or d-did before, but then,” The tears were back, and his free hand clenched into a first as he fought to get the words out, he fought to tell Klaus what had happened. He needed to get it off his chest or he thought he might explode. 

“You don’t have to say it all, if it's too much,” Klaus’ voice rang clear, breaking through the mess that was Diego’s thoughts, “You don’t even have to say it all tonight. Or ever, really. Just what you want to,” The hand that was holding Diego’s was getting closer to holding him in a hug, and he felt a little embarrassed, getting a moment of self awareness; he shoved that feeling down. Klaus was there to listen and to help, there was nothing embarrassing about that, not really.

“I just felt like a t-toy to her,” He whispered, “She’d use me whenever she wa-wanted, she fucking d-drugged me! I’d never have f-f-found the commission otherwise, and then she said she lo-lo-lo-” He sighed in frustration, not being able to force the word out anymore, “I don’t wanna go th-through that again,” 

“I’m sorry. That you had to go through that, and for taking you out when I should’ve known you didn’t feel up to it,” There was guilt in Klaus’ voice that seemed to pierce Diego’s heart. Klaus had nothing to be sorry for, he was the only sibling of theirs that seemed to really give a damn. 

He shook his head again, trying to cut Klaus off before he continued and got into a self-deprecating spiral, trying to help his brother even as he felt like he was falling apart himself. “N-n-none of that. Not your fault,” His words were pointed, not allowing space for him to disagree. 

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, the only sounds in the room were the muted music from outside, and Diego’s laboured breathing. Klaus shifted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, and it was the last straw. Diego finally just let out all the tears he had been holding in, clinging to his shirt as his chest heaved with each sob. It was too much for Diego to hold back, but maybe in a good way. It didn’t feel like when the woman at the bar touched him, it was different, coaxing Diego to just relax, or at least let down the walls he had been so desperately building for so long. 

Klaus didn’t really say much, just holding Diego the whole time, and patting his head to try and comfort him. There were moments when it was obvious neither of them grew up with any affection. Their movements when trying to soothe others were always clumsy and inexperienced, but they were trying. Under his breath, he whispered words of encouragement, too quiet for Diego to really make out, but he didn’t care. It still helped. 

“I j-just-” He gasped for air, not realizing that he had essentially winded himself with his sobs, “Is that a-all I’m good for? J-j-just someone to trick and fo-forget about when its co-co-convenient?” He knew his voice was muffled as he spoke with his face still pressed against Klaus’ shoulder, but he hoped it would be clear enough. 

“Hey.  _ Hey. _ Look at me, Diego,” Klaus eyes were stern, a sharp contrast from his usual relaxed expression, once he finally looked at him. “You don’t deserve that shit. You’re better than that, I  _ mean it _ . Alright?” He looked closer at Diego, who turned to look at the ground again, and Klaus decided that he wasn’t convinced his brother had listened. “You’re a good person, and one day, you’ll find someone who will never make you cry like this, I swear. It’s shitty of her to make you think she loved you-” Diego let out a little noise at that, almost sobbing again, “-but that’s  _ not  _ your fault. She’s stupid if she doesn’t see doesn’t think you’re worth that,”

Diego nodded, a little uncomfortable now by the rough texture of Klaus’ shirt and the fact that it was a little damp at that point from his tears. Klaus’ hand was still sort of petting his hair (he still didn’t have a chance to cut it since they got back), and Diego could mostly focus on breathing for a moment or two. 

“C’mon, Dee, we gotta get you home. I don’t think the tile here will do you too well,” Klaus said after a will, letting go of Diego and looking him over. He wiped a stray tear away before getting up and offering his hand out to help him stand.

Diego’s legs were shaky, but surprisingly, Klaus got Diego to lean on him and held his weight up with a lot less struggle than he thought. “I’ll call us a taxi,” He said softly, unlocking the door of the bathroom. 

A while had passed since Diego had gone in, a lot of people that were there before having left and new people took their place, but he tried not to focus on that. Even if he still felt shaky, a weight had been lifted from Diego’s shoulders temporarily, and he knew that Klaus would be there for him if he needed him again. It wasn’t like he could change the past. All he could hope for is a smooth ride back to the academy, and a long nap once they get there. 


End file.
